I understand that some bisexuals identify their sexuality as “attracted to both people who are and are not my gender”. That is fine and a 100% valid definition and I absolutely support that. It is a good definition.
I also understand that some pansexuals outright…
I’m actually with OP on this one. While I do think there’s a HUGE problem with scapegoating bi people for transphobia and cissexism, we can’t use that to avoid discussing existing transphboia and cissexism in bi communities. I wrote a post about this once, but unsurprisingly, it didn’t get around that much. I also dedicated about 10 pages to this in my book.
I also have to say that I do think there’s a problem with cis people not being attracted to trans* and non-binary people. Here’s what I wrote about this in the post I linked above:
I don’t think that being attracted only to cis men and women is overtly/deliberately transphobic and evil. I don’t think that such people intend to hurt anyone or to practice cis privilege on anyone’s back. However and notwithstanding, I do find that this tendency resonates with cissexist social standards.
People often like to think about attraction as a non-political, inborn, pure, uncontrollable quality which is somehow a given, but in most cases this is not so. More often than not, our attractions are shaped by social standards of beauty and attractiveness – of who/what is “allowed” to be considered attractive, and who/what is not. These standards of beauty are of course deeply political as they are shaped by dominant social beliefs and structures: to name just a few, white people are considered more attractive than people of color, thin people more than fat people, nondisabled people more than disabled people – and cisgender people more than transgender/genderqueer people. In Read My Lips, Riki Wilchins argues that the reason why transgender people are considered unattractive is that their/our bodies are unintelligible in terms of sexual attraction, to a culture which constructs its sexuality upon cisgender bodies. In order to be considered attractive, one must possess a body that “matches” their gender identity. This means that cisgender bodies are structurally privileged in terms of sexuality and sexual attraction – and we know what structural privileging of cisgender identity is called (that’s rights, cissexism).
Lisa Millbank of A Radical TransFeminist wrote very eloquently about how people need to challenge themselves in terms of sexual attraction to include people of marginalized groups, whom society teaches us to find unattractive: Significant Othering: Attraction Down The Privilege Gradient. I advise anyone to whom it may concern, to read this and reflect upon the contents.